I’m back! After a brief, seven-year hiatus, I’m ready to admit yet again that despite my best efforts, I am, in fact, still a picky eater. Some may remember the original Picky Eater Chronicles from 2013, where I recorded my exotic dietary exploits, including strawberries, tacos, and coffee.
Since then, I’d like to believe that I’ve grown up quite a bit. I’m a proud consumer of many vegetables, a couple fruits, and even rice! But for all the back-patting I’ve been rewarding myself with for the last seven years, I still have a long way to go. The truth is that when faced with the opportunity to try something new, I still bristle, squirm, and try my best to get out of it.
Still, seven years is a long time, so I do have some improvements to brag about:
- Hamburgers – big-time burger eater now! I was at a bachelorette party a couple years ago where I didn’t know a lot of people and didn’t want to be picky, so I just ate one and didn’t combust!
- Raw oysters – very similar origin story here. It’s amazing where a little shame and awkwardness will lead you.
- Asparagus, zucchini, green beans, Brussels sprouts, and broccoli – that’s right, I will thoroughly enjoy eating any of these vegetables. My doctor is pleased.
- Brown rice – honestly, if I had ever bothered to try it earlier in life, I’m sure I would’ve like it since it’s brown and tasteless. I just didn’t get around to it until a few years ago.
Now I know what you must be thinking after seeing such an impressive list: “Bethy, it hardly seems like you’re a picky eater at all. What are we doing here?”
Well, friends, I haven’t changed that much. I’ve also tried some things that didn’t go over so well:
- Pickle relish – I love pickles, so I can’t explain why I didn’t enjoy a bite of my hot dog once this was added other than that the texture was too slimy and I was forced into trying it against my will. It’s all about attitude when a picky eater tries new foods, and my heart was not in it that day.
- Steamers – I’ll give them another chance someday, but holy Hell, those things are squishy. It’s the gross texture of other clams I’ve tried except they’re bigger. Not good.
- A variety of energy drinks – my boyfriend often offers me various colorful drinks that advertise the many electrolytes they can return to my body. No thanks. I don’t know what electrolytes are and have gotten this far in my life without them. Pass.
See? I’m not so different after all. OK so now that you’re all caught up on my life for the last few years, let’s look to the future.
I’ll continue to bring you my misadventures while attempting to grow my culinary repertoire. But this new and improved Picky Eater Chronicles will also introduce a new ingredient to the mix: cooking. Besides trying new foods that friends, family, and random waiters peer pressure me into, I’ll also show off some new recipes featuring ingredients I’ve never had before. That way, you can judge me both on my toddler-esque diet and my cooking abilities (and we can all pick up a few new kitchen tips)!
So rally your closest picky eaters to join me on this journey because misery loves company! And if you have any ideas for foods or recipes I should try, let me know here. Wish me luck!